Tuesday 9 November 2010

Sharing a sauna with the All Blacks.

I'm trying to get fit. I'm trying to build muscle and I'm trying to do this with the minimum amount of effort required which is why I splash about in the pool across the road from work for 25 minutes until I'm bored. Of course, it's slightly uncomfortable when you share the pool with someone who works in the same building as you, it is when you are podgy, wet and wearing oversized red baggy shorts in the pool.
 Well, after 32 laps (in a 10m length pool) I decided that I had felt enough of The Burn in my limbs to deserve ten minutes in the sauna with the newspaper...Well,as I sat reading, three giants of men came in and squeezed beside me in what is essentially a hot steamy bus shelter. They were so big these men, the biggest men I've ever seen. Ever. Their arms seemed bigger than my torso and the scars on their torsos were bigger than my arms. As I sat reading fondue recipes in the Metro, I worked out that they were the mighty All Blacks rugby team. I got this from their accents and also from their shorts which read 'All Blacks'. Put this into perspective, rugby players are big muscly guys, professional ones even more so and the biggest of them all, anywhere on Earth, are the All Blacks.
I didnt even try to hold my stomach in, what's the point?  I just sat and listened to them talk about beating Ireland and Wales and snapping other huge people in half etc... One of them had quite an impressive beard on his giant Zeus-like head which reminded me that I'm in the early stages of growing a moustache for charity. One which can only be described as '80's teenager'. It was only then my masculinity took a tackle and crashed.
It was time for me to go get showered and dressed which I began doing so amongst the remainder of the team which seemed to be the Maori contingent, all muscles and tribal tattoos. It was only then standing amongst them I realised that the pants I chose to wear this particular day were a classy pair with 'I   ♥ VODKA' written around the waistband...

2 comments:

  1. Cool! Tell those Kiwi's that Mike in Tokyo Rogers wants their asses on the line with Japan next year at the 2011 World Cup! When Japan ties them, they will be TOTALLY shamed!

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